After a lot of pressure to give the two complete screw ups a second chance to get some kind of reward by completing something. It was creepy to me that a number of real parents said I had to reward the effort even if the failed or I would be sending the wrong message. Huh.
How my brain was working was this was a much a responsibility (like a job) as anything else and not a training course where a ‘C’ is okay. As I told the Agents up front a “c’ or average effort will get you fried. So if you are not up for an ‘A’ level effort, do not bother to even say you will. Get it right or go home empty handed. Kind of like all the jobs you have after you get out of school.
What I was thinking is how to let them off the hook without excusing their lame effort (losing the last clue). Reaching into the October 2008 archive when the actual Golden Gun from the Bond film The Man with the Golden Gun was stolen I sent this communication to the Agents:
Agents I was captured by the group KAOS. I had to survive in the Navajo reservation in AZ for two weeks. You have both been reinstated. I have to go my helicopter is here to pick me up. Mission instructions to follow. 
This was an email and I followed it up with another email a week later:
For Agents - it was reported that the data pick up at Red Hawk Farms was lost. Not true. The data was stolen from your possession (you need to watch out for this) and I was sent a locater signal for a pick up in the Santa Cruz Mountains. We will proceed with the pick up when you arrive.
The goal is to then complete the first mission.
Needless to say I heard the agents were pretty ticked off they were suspended when the data was ‘stolen’ as this was obviously not their fault. This was the first thing I wanted to discuss with them as the fact they let it be stolen was even more lame than losing it themselves.
In order to not completely fold like an old towel I devised a fairly elaborate trail of clues for the agents to pick up where they left off, after I chewed their rear ends for trying to blame their incompetence on the enemy.
The agents were visiting for a week and I made them wait until the day before they left. When they asked I simply said that I was waiting on an email with instructions o what to do and when. This led to a lot of second guessing on their part of my status or ‘Supreme-ness’ as Agent Linoleum called it.
I assured the two knuckleheads that without my re-con work they would still be considered they two Agents who got robbed of data AFTER they had possession of it. The mission prep on my end when like this:
Reprinted the old (ergo - lost) mission clue and rewrapped it in construction paper, tied it off with an old piece of twine then ‘aged’ it. This was the process of taking it to the yard, dropping it on the damp ground and dancing on it till it was dirty and mussed up. After it was sufficiently schmegged out I put it on the driver’s side floor mat of the car and prepared to go place the data and record the new clues for retrieval.
The clue was to be hidden on the inside of a galvanized steel road barrier like this one:
The clue was placed on the bottom ridge near a bridge and the clues I presented were photos taken in sequence from the spot of the clue to the first clue with my cell phone. The point being was to show the pictures in sequence and have the agents use the internet via their PSP to lok up any visible clues such as:
Bridge numbers
Name of Elementary School
Road signs at intersections
Views from the house where they were staying.
Essentially a follow the picture clue trail to the last piece of data. So I went to pick up the agents and had my cell phone with the pictures.
After a brief shouting match of which agent is more prepared I briefed the agents on the pictures I received via email and we started with the first clue - a picture of a school called ‘Lexington Elementary.’
Agent Mongoose found it right away on his PSP with a web search. I asked him to click on the ‘Driving Directions’ link on the school web site and get directions from where we are. The directions he read were:
“Take I-17 north to 880 North to exit #124/Mission Blvd/Sacremento...”
“Whoa! due how many miles to the school?”
“Um....2,436.97. That’s not right.”
“What state is the school in?”
Following my theory that he searched just the school name and thus ended up in Lexington KY.
“Kay-Why. I think it is Kentucky.”
Me- “Okay, add the letters ‘CA’ to the search string.”
He did and we where off to the races going about 4 miles from where we are to the first clue, the school.
During the drive Agent Linoleum as he is prone to do stretched lip on teh ride over.
AL- “SC I think I remember this area (stretch of road). I thought I had someone tell me something about it or something.”
SC - “AL you want a mint?”
AL- “No thanks. I pretty sure I remember something someone told me about this road here.”
When I spotted the road signs about a half mile ahead using my Supreme Commander vision) I showed the second picture which was an image of the exit sign coming up. As much as I bag on these two rug rats their visual memory is amazing.
“Next exit.” Agent Mongoose said with a smirk.
“You sure?” I challenged him.
‘Oh yeah, I’m sure. Exit and go right at the stop sign.”
When we pulled up the school the agents and piled out of the car and began to look around. AL still was in his ‘I’m in the know and omniscient’ mode.
“Supreme Commander this bottle is two different colors. Maybe the enemy agent was drunk when he stole the stuff.”
“Hey AL, focus here. Look at these images - a bridge number and a picture of a no trespassing sign. That is what we need to find next.”
We all huddled and looked over the images. We figured we would continue on as there was a ‘No Trespassing’ sign about every 100 feet on the road so we just drove by them until we cane to a bridge. We hopped out and checked the number against the image on the cell phone. No match so we soldiered on.
‘There’s the sign. RIGHT THERE!”
Agent Mongoose was right on. There was a sign, well more of a white marble tombstone with a creek name on it. So we stopped and got it. I knew we were close, but the boys did not.
“I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!”
I watched in awe as Agent Linoleum ran of into the woods as if he had tourettes during the Amazing Race. His feet are slapping the fire road like a goose running across a lake prior to lift of. In fact I was certain he would just keep going ‘til his lungs gave out or his blood sugar crashed.
Suddenly he stopped. As if resigned that the movie trailer of his spasm of manufactured truth had run its course.
A car came by and the Agents and I hid behind our car. When we walked out to the bridge the agents checked the number against our image and it matched. So we looked for the next clue - another ‘No Trespassing’ sign.
The agents wandered for a bit and i stopped them and asked them to really study the image of the sign. They needed some prodding and I pointed out this sign was hung between two strands of barbed wire. It took them two sing to understand the imagery but eventually the found it.
The clue was close and then I asked the agents to look over the guardrail (the last image), check front and back and Agent Linoleum found it. We reconvened at the car and opened the clue:
Bank of America Security Vault Pick Up
If you are reading this then you successfully completed the pickup of the Red Hawk Farm data.
The last clue is tricky it requires entering the vault at the Bank of America in Willow Glen and retrieving the last envelope from a safety deposit box.
Conner, you need to be there on this one as the radios will not work in the bank. Also Conner needs to verify the CD is the right CD as described below.
A Bank of America employee will have to help the Supreme Commander unlock the safety deposit box. Do not open the safety deposit box until this employee leaves the vault, or you get to a secure area.
The CD is in a case labeled:
“GOT IT SECRET CODE”
Chris hand the DVD box to Conner. Conner open the DVD box, DO NOT TOUCH THE DISK and check to see if the CD has these words on it:
“ADS Technologies PYRO 1394 DV”
If the CD has these words, get out of there, but be calm when you do.
Return to the Supreme Commander’s house and await your mission reward.
Good Luck.
Off to bank of America.
Earlier that morning I met with the branch manager at my B of A. She agreed to escort me and the guys in the safety deposit box vault so we could retrieve my safety deposit box with the CD I had placed there a day earlier.
Prior to this I noticed the agents were starting to sag a bit so I swung into Uno Mas for a Horchata. I you do not know what that is, go a a mexican restaurant and order a glass with no ice.
Refueled and ready for action the Agents and I strode into the bank. The bank manager said she would be sure to recognize us and nod to the boys as if she was part of the operation (which she was). The agents and I walked up the counter and stood there. The agents maintained their cool and the manager saw Agent L, nodded to him.
“She’s coming over. Supreme Commander, here she comes.”
“I know, maintain your cool. Calm and confident guys, calm and confident.”
“Hi, can I assist you gentleman today?” She was really good at this and I had to fight a laugh.
I nudged Agent Mongoose as he had to respond and he said and I quote:
‘Um...can we see your box office?”
“Of course.” She led us in and we retrieved the disc.
We got home and I told them job well done.
They recalled their story to their parents in varying degrees of reality and reality distortion.
It was fun, I will do it again. And the Agents each got a $10 Amazon gift certificate a week after they got home.
(queue Bond theme here)
How my brain was working was this was a much a responsibility (like a job) as anything else and not a training course where a ‘C’ is okay. As I told the Agents up front a “c’ or average effort will get you fried. So if you are not up for an ‘A’ level effort, do not bother to even say you will. Get it right or go home empty handed. Kind of like all the jobs you have after you get out of school.
What I was thinking is how to let them off the hook without excusing their lame effort (losing the last clue). Reaching into the October 2008 archive when the actual Golden Gun from the Bond film The Man with the Golden Gun was stolen I sent this communication to the Agents:
Agents I was captured by the group KAOS. I had to survive in the Navajo reservation in AZ for two weeks. You have both been reinstated. I have to go my helicopter is here to pick me up. Mission instructions to follow. 
This was an email and I followed it up with another email a week later:
For Agents - it was reported that the data pick up at Red Hawk Farms was lost. Not true. The data was stolen from your possession (you need to watch out for this) and I was sent a locater signal for a pick up in the Santa Cruz Mountains. We will proceed with the pick up when you arrive.
The goal is to then complete the first mission.
Needless to say I heard the agents were pretty ticked off they were suspended when the data was ‘stolen’ as this was obviously not their fault. This was the first thing I wanted to discuss with them as the fact they let it be stolen was even more lame than losing it themselves.
In order to not completely fold like an old towel I devised a fairly elaborate trail of clues for the agents to pick up where they left off, after I chewed their rear ends for trying to blame their incompetence on the enemy.
The agents were visiting for a week and I made them wait until the day before they left. When they asked I simply said that I was waiting on an email with instructions o what to do and when. This led to a lot of second guessing on their part of my status or ‘Supreme-ness’ as Agent Linoleum called it.
I assured the two knuckleheads that without my re-con work they would still be considered they two Agents who got robbed of data AFTER they had possession of it. The mission prep on my end when like this:
Reprinted the old (ergo - lost) mission clue and rewrapped it in construction paper, tied it off with an old piece of twine then ‘aged’ it. This was the process of taking it to the yard, dropping it on the damp ground and dancing on it till it was dirty and mussed up. After it was sufficiently schmegged out I put it on the driver’s side floor mat of the car and prepared to go place the data and record the new clues for retrieval.
The clue was to be hidden on the inside of a galvanized steel road barrier like this one:
The clue was placed on the bottom ridge near a bridge and the clues I presented were photos taken in sequence from the spot of the clue to the first clue with my cell phone. The point being was to show the pictures in sequence and have the agents use the internet via their PSP to lok up any visible clues such as:
Bridge numbers
Name of Elementary School
Road signs at intersections
Views from the house where they were staying.
Essentially a follow the picture clue trail to the last piece of data. So I went to pick up the agents and had my cell phone with the pictures.
After a brief shouting match of which agent is more prepared I briefed the agents on the pictures I received via email and we started with the first clue - a picture of a school called ‘Lexington Elementary.’
Agent Mongoose found it right away on his PSP with a web search. I asked him to click on the ‘Driving Directions’ link on the school web site and get directions from where we are. The directions he read were:
“Take I-17 north to 880 North to exit #124/Mission Blvd/Sacremento...”
“Whoa! due how many miles to the school?”
“Um....2,436.97. That’s not right.”
“What state is the school in?”
Following my theory that he searched just the school name and thus ended up in Lexington KY.
“Kay-Why. I think it is Kentucky.”
Me- “Okay, add the letters ‘CA’ to the search string.”
He did and we where off to the races going about 4 miles from where we are to the first clue, the school.
During the drive Agent Linoleum as he is prone to do stretched lip on teh ride over.
AL- “SC I think I remember this area (stretch of road). I thought I had someone tell me something about it or something.”
SC - “AL you want a mint?”
AL- “No thanks. I pretty sure I remember something someone told me about this road here.”
When I spotted the road signs about a half mile ahead using my Supreme Commander vision) I showed the second picture which was an image of the exit sign coming up. As much as I bag on these two rug rats their visual memory is amazing.
“Next exit.” Agent Mongoose said with a smirk.
“You sure?” I challenged him.
‘Oh yeah, I’m sure. Exit and go right at the stop sign.”
When we pulled up the school the agents and piled out of the car and began to look around. AL still was in his ‘I’m in the know and omniscient’ mode.
“Supreme Commander this bottle is two different colors. Maybe the enemy agent was drunk when he stole the stuff.”
“Hey AL, focus here. Look at these images - a bridge number and a picture of a no trespassing sign. That is what we need to find next.”
We all huddled and looked over the images. We figured we would continue on as there was a ‘No Trespassing’ sign about every 100 feet on the road so we just drove by them until we cane to a bridge. We hopped out and checked the number against the image on the cell phone. No match so we soldiered on.
‘There’s the sign. RIGHT THERE!”
Agent Mongoose was right on. There was a sign, well more of a white marble tombstone with a creek name on it. So we stopped and got it. I knew we were close, but the boys did not.
“I FOUND IT, I FOUND IT!”
I watched in awe as Agent Linoleum ran of into the woods as if he had tourettes during the Amazing Race. His feet are slapping the fire road like a goose running across a lake prior to lift of. In fact I was certain he would just keep going ‘til his lungs gave out or his blood sugar crashed.
Suddenly he stopped. As if resigned that the movie trailer of his spasm of manufactured truth had run its course.
A car came by and the Agents and I hid behind our car. When we walked out to the bridge the agents checked the number against our image and it matched. So we looked for the next clue - another ‘No Trespassing’ sign.
The agents wandered for a bit and i stopped them and asked them to really study the image of the sign. They needed some prodding and I pointed out this sign was hung between two strands of barbed wire. It took them two sing to understand the imagery but eventually the found it.
The clue was close and then I asked the agents to look over the guardrail (the last image), check front and back and Agent Linoleum found it. We reconvened at the car and opened the clue:
Bank of America Security Vault Pick Up
If you are reading this then you successfully completed the pickup of the Red Hawk Farm data.
The last clue is tricky it requires entering the vault at the Bank of America in Willow Glen and retrieving the last envelope from a safety deposit box.
Conner, you need to be there on this one as the radios will not work in the bank. Also Conner needs to verify the CD is the right CD as described below.
A Bank of America employee will have to help the Supreme Commander unlock the safety deposit box. Do not open the safety deposit box until this employee leaves the vault, or you get to a secure area.
The CD is in a case labeled:
“GOT IT SECRET CODE”
Chris hand the DVD box to Conner. Conner open the DVD box, DO NOT TOUCH THE DISK and check to see if the CD has these words on it:
“ADS Technologies PYRO 1394 DV”
If the CD has these words, get out of there, but be calm when you do.
Return to the Supreme Commander’s house and await your mission reward.
Good Luck.
Off to bank of America.
Earlier that morning I met with the branch manager at my B of A. She agreed to escort me and the guys in the safety deposit box vault so we could retrieve my safety deposit box with the CD I had placed there a day earlier.
Prior to this I noticed the agents were starting to sag a bit so I swung into Uno Mas for a Horchata. I you do not know what that is, go a a mexican restaurant and order a glass with no ice.
Refueled and ready for action the Agents and I strode into the bank. The bank manager said she would be sure to recognize us and nod to the boys as if she was part of the operation (which she was). The agents and I walked up the counter and stood there. The agents maintained their cool and the manager saw Agent L, nodded to him.
“She’s coming over. Supreme Commander, here she comes.”
“I know, maintain your cool. Calm and confident guys, calm and confident.”
“Hi, can I assist you gentleman today?” She was really good at this and I had to fight a laugh.
I nudged Agent Mongoose as he had to respond and he said and I quote:
‘Um...can we see your box office?”
“Of course.” She led us in and we retrieved the disc.
We got home and I told them job well done.
They recalled their story to their parents in varying degrees of reality and reality distortion.
It was fun, I will do it again. And the Agents each got a $10 Amazon gift certificate a week after they got home.
(queue Bond theme here)
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