Published with all of its original haste and mistakes and it is true. Some background: bombing is when our dog repeatedly dives into our neighbors pool to get his training dummy a large cylindrical tennis ball-like object. My dog is named Elvis and I am not a big Elvis fan:
Subject: Squirrel Drama
So....
On Saturday afternoon I took Elvis over for some bombing. The usual, he goes in, comes out and repeat.
On one of the tosses I notice movement below the fig tree by the SE comer of the deck. And not like the wind is blowing, the tree and surrounding fauna are all moving. So employing my best Steve Irwin I quickly crouched down and said,
"Crickey, this looks like the urban tree squirrel and she's a beauty!"
Initially I thought there was a raccoon and I grabbed Elvis because he would lose that engagement. But he was bumper focused and did not see the movement. When I let him go and tossed the bumper into the pool I peeked around the deck to the base of the fig tree like Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween (the original) and there was one those fat happy neighborhood squirrels. And I thought,
"Man he is cocky."
The squirrel saw me and he lunged away. It was obvious he was in difficulty and could not walk or stand very well. So I figured the neighbor shot him and did not know I was in your yard. So took cover and debated returning fire if fired upon. After that thought passed a flash of the following went through my head;
Rabies, zombie virus, Rabies, poison, dystrophy, unknown contagion, Rabies, squirrel polio, drunk and disorderly, and where is my dog?
When Elvis returned with his bumper he noticed that I had noticed something so he strolled up next to me and was looking, presumably for a hamburger or other food source and I told him there was a squirrel there and to, "Go get 'em."
Bad idea. Now we all know Elvis is a retriever. So his breeding is based on detecting movement and using his Underdog like senses to visually, and in conjunction with his sniffer, go get whatever I ask him to.
The squirrel was not moving. So Elvis initially lost interest. Then the squirrel in a neuro-muscualr fit tried to get up and climb, he looked like that guy at the A's game in the sixth inning who could not really get up the stairs to go puke in the restroom. Elvis was on him like the squirrel was small Asian postal worker.
What ensued can only be described as a fury of focused 100 pound chessie and an insane, half mad squirrel confronting one and other in what must be our equivalent of being jumped by a T-Rex. Actually I am surprised no one called the cops as the screams, the squirrels and mine, in retrospect were quite disturbing and loud.
Elvis grabbed the squirrel to retrieve it and it went nuts (pun intended). So he dropped it, pawed at it and snapped it up again and really gave it a shaking to get it to, um, relax a bit so he could bring it back to me. The squirrel, crazy but realizing this is the end, let out the clutch and screamed. literally, screamed. BTW at this point I was glad I had an extra dog poop bag for me.
Elvis shook the squirrel violently to get it under control but the squirrel was really letting go with his fighting. So Elvis dropped it and went to his bumper. Looking at me like I should have told him it was not dead. The squirrel moved just under the deck and neither Elvis or I could really find out where he was. At this point I figured a shotgun blast to the deck would be cool, but not the best resolution and I love the new deck.
It may still be there. In fact last night I thought I heard it pawing at the door to get in, scratching, crying, in it matted fur, eyes wild with squirrel zombie virus, seeking revenge.
Seriously, check the yard, and be afraid, be very afraid.
Subject: Squirrel Drama
So....
On Saturday afternoon I took Elvis over for some bombing. The usual, he goes in, comes out and repeat.
On one of the tosses I notice movement below the fig tree by the SE comer of the deck. And not like the wind is blowing, the tree and surrounding fauna are all moving. So employing my best Steve Irwin I quickly crouched down and said,
"Crickey, this looks like the urban tree squirrel and she's a beauty!"
Initially I thought there was a raccoon and I grabbed Elvis because he would lose that engagement. But he was bumper focused and did not see the movement. When I let him go and tossed the bumper into the pool I peeked around the deck to the base of the fig tree like Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween (the original) and there was one those fat happy neighborhood squirrels. And I thought,
"Man he is cocky."
The squirrel saw me and he lunged away. It was obvious he was in difficulty and could not walk or stand very well. So I figured the neighbor shot him and did not know I was in your yard. So took cover and debated returning fire if fired upon. After that thought passed a flash of the following went through my head;
Rabies, zombie virus, Rabies, poison, dystrophy, unknown contagion, Rabies, squirrel polio, drunk and disorderly, and where is my dog?
When Elvis returned with his bumper he noticed that I had noticed something so he strolled up next to me and was looking, presumably for a hamburger or other food source and I told him there was a squirrel there and to, "Go get 'em."
Bad idea. Now we all know Elvis is a retriever. So his breeding is based on detecting movement and using his Underdog like senses to visually, and in conjunction with his sniffer, go get whatever I ask him to.
The squirrel was not moving. So Elvis initially lost interest. Then the squirrel in a neuro-muscualr fit tried to get up and climb, he looked like that guy at the A's game in the sixth inning who could not really get up the stairs to go puke in the restroom. Elvis was on him like the squirrel was small Asian postal worker.
What ensued can only be described as a fury of focused 100 pound chessie and an insane, half mad squirrel confronting one and other in what must be our equivalent of being jumped by a T-Rex. Actually I am surprised no one called the cops as the screams, the squirrels and mine, in retrospect were quite disturbing and loud.
Elvis grabbed the squirrel to retrieve it and it went nuts (pun intended). So he dropped it, pawed at it and snapped it up again and really gave it a shaking to get it to, um, relax a bit so he could bring it back to me. The squirrel, crazy but realizing this is the end, let out the clutch and screamed. literally, screamed. BTW at this point I was glad I had an extra dog poop bag for me.
Elvis shook the squirrel violently to get it under control but the squirrel was really letting go with his fighting. So Elvis dropped it and went to his bumper. Looking at me like I should have told him it was not dead. The squirrel moved just under the deck and neither Elvis or I could really find out where he was. At this point I figured a shotgun blast to the deck would be cool, but not the best resolution and I love the new deck.
It may still be there. In fact last night I thought I heard it pawing at the door to get in, scratching, crying, in it matted fur, eyes wild with squirrel zombie virus, seeking revenge.
Seriously, check the yard, and be afraid, be very afraid.
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