Okay, it's been awhile but I wanted to update you on crossfit, and yoga.
Note: Blaving means to forcefully tell the truth.
Crossfit is for psychotic masochists with OCD. It is essentially a bit of stretching, a series of Olympic lifts, jr high calisthenics and trying not to puke. Resulting in: groin pulls, popped hamstrings, back sprains, wrist injuries, shoulder injuries, and soreness past your core being into your bone marrow.
It is the furthest thing from fitness and seems to be made for the pain, gain and sprain crowd. After stretching, which is a loose description as the 20-something's in class are loose enough to auto-fellate themselves (we've all been there). After 5 minutes of "stretching" there is a series of Olympic style lifts:
Dead lift. Which is the lift that makes people over 50 poop a little.
Front Jerk Lift. Which is not the guy who wears doll clothes and sits in the lobby soaked with hideous man-sweat admiring his physiology. It is the deadlift plus popping the bar up to your shoulders, elbows up and for us old guys, wrists trapped against the top of our man boobs.
Clean Overheads. The first two plus an unimaginable strain on your back as the weight is pressed quickly overhead to make sure you shit yourself and can't put it down as the thought of moving the dead weight makes you want to pee.
Then squats in a set called five to one. Five at a warm up weight. Four at a moderate weight. Three at a near max weight. Two at max weight. And one to separate your groin for your pelvic floor in the full squat position that leaves the participant no choice but to stand up with the weight or your ass splits to your shoulder blades, your knees turn white and the meniscus squeezes out the side like egg salad.
Add in burpees, which if typed on a mobile with auto korrect is literally 'hurlers.' Try it.
Handstand push ups to reinforce the fact you are a pussy and can't do a handstand even using the wall. Work in pull ups which completely fuqs up your keyboarding skillz, and finish with a series of jumps onto large wooden boxes which is easy for two jumps and then us old folks look like we have no spatial capabilities as we land one footed, fall off and look for a box the height of a 3tb hard drive.
Fast forward two weeks and I can now sit on the toilet. My groin is healed and the breathing, strength and minute alignment of yoga is civilized compared to the damage I did in one crossfit class.
Nice turn of phrase and very appropriate for a client I am working with. The client is growing; in fact it is growing so fast it has decided to implement process to handle the growth. The process is so detailed that it is actually slowing growth and in some areas, forcing a decline in growth. So I was asked why. The why was very straightforward to discover. You have a sub-$10M company implementing the same process as a $3B company. Not only is the process decisioneered beyond rational thought, it is so complex that asking a single person to manage it is crippling. For example; When a company sells a product that adds onto or works with another product, infrastructure, or application the process should reflect the “aftermarket” nature of this business. Look at Home Depot. They do not sell houses, but they sell about every aftermarket part and piece for homes (and outside the home) you can imagine. And they make no bones about it. One does not go to home depot to re-engineer their house ...
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