(Use Keifer Sutherland’s voice here) – “Previously on Secret Mission Blog post”:
AL – “YOU”RE DOING IT WRONG! LET ME DO IT!”
AM – “NO I’M NOT! LET GO OF ME!”
Smack, push, scream, yelp, teeth gritting wrestle-mania, Supreme Commander steps in and separates them and talks them down.
For the next part of the mission I wanted to make sure Agent Mongoose (AM) used his computer skills for something other than propelling a fat Italian guy through a series of obstacles using tools no one has in the real world. Enter the satellite charged jump drive. Being a veteran of two of three tech industry events a year I have several jump drive (USB flash drives to the layperson) and decided to put the next set of mission instructions on it so AM would have to use the computer.
The instructions from the travel agency were to meet with the SC and go over where the next clue was located (in my yard). The travel agency brochure had a letter that was a clue (ok it was a clue for 10 year old kids, but it was a clue) as to the location of a small box sealed with a laser activated metallic nano-dermis (aluminum foil). In addition the agents were instructed to set up a tripod and use one of the flashlight laser pointers to activate the satellite download of data. Yes to your question - it was a lot of stuff for their brains to string together.
The SC reviewed the letter quite seriously and then the team talked about the box and what it may look like, the size, possible locations, safety issues (more on that later), and then made a list of the gear for the mission. One thing I find gets me to above average is lists. So I wanted them to make lists. The SC then made a tactical error, he asked which one of the agents would volunteer to write the list and the following conversation ensued:
AM - “I JUST LEARNED TO WRITE CURSIVE!”
AL – “NO YOU DIDN”T! YOU ARE NOT DONE WITH THAT CLASS! UNITL YOU’RE DONE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!’
AM – “NUNH UNH! JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT DONE DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T DO IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF BICYLES!’
AL – ‘HEY UNCLE ERIC (brother's name here)
AM - “I WAS THREE! AND ONE TIME YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS AT SCHOOL!”
Major scuffle, like the one in between Roddy Piper and Keith David in the movie “They Live.” SC made the list.
After careful instruction the agents went off to get the gear for the mission. SC noticed that about a half an hour went by and went to see how they were going. They were doing just fine and were found watching a lame ‘toon on Nickelodeon.
Regroup and refocus. Both agents had to follow the SC around and carry the gear. Tripod? Check. Flashlight and laser pointer? Check. Fireplace gloves? Check. Ready to start the search. One of the guidelines was the agents had to look for the box just before dark as exposure to broad daylight would adversely affect the laser activated metallic nano-dermis. And we couldn’t have that. The clue to the boxes location in the yard was:
When the SUN gets tired and the FLOWER gets to rest only then will the METAL of an agent be revealed.
It did not make much sense but apparently it did to the agents. After a few minutes of landscape map review it was determined the backyard was the most likely place for the box jump drive to be hidden. SC was astonished that both agents recognized that a metal sunflower would be the best candidate and the agents found the large metal sunflower with a shiny box lodged in the window in the back. BTW don’t ask that thing was a gift.
Prior to removing the box the agents had to wait for darkness (yes a nano-dermis precaution), the laser had to be placed on the tripod at least 20 feet from the box and then aimed at the box to make a really cool nighttime reflection. The laser had to stay on the box for five minutes and then the box was to be removed and rushed upstairs out of the roof hatch and placed on the southeast corner of the roof. Hint – do not use north, south, east or west on this and put a big “X” in tape instead as the argument over which direction SE is went like this:
AL - “SC
SC - “KNOCK IT OFF! We are on the same team and let’s look at the roof and all agree where to set it.”
So we did and everyone calmed down.
Night falls and the team worked well in securing the laser onto the tripod. The effect of the laser shooting through the dark went off better than expected. After shooing both agents away from just grabbing the box the SC assign one agent to watch the tripod and the other to get the box. Reading from the mission instructions the SC mentioned the box may be red hot and offered a pair of men’s XL fireplace gloves to one of the agents. Considering the agents hand fit nicely in just the thumb hole it became apparent the SC would hand the box off to one of the agents after he safely removed it with some tongs.
Now the fun starts. SC hands the both to AL and tells him to get the box to the roof to the spot we agreed on and to be quick but don’t hurry. Ever wonder what two bowling balls with speakers in them would sound like rumbling through the house? Yeah, that’s close.
AL – “MOVE!”
AM – “YOU MOVE!”
Al – “
AM – “I WOULD MOVE IF YOU WEREN’T SO FAT!’
Punch, hit, the sound of molars grinding, hot dog bits spewing from their pie holes.
SC - “Cool off and go! Both of you. Now!”
They made it to the roof and placed the box. Instead of coming back to report they stood on our roof and yelled. I really could not tell whose voice it was but heard bits and pieces:
“SC! SC1 I DID IT!’
“NO YOU DIDN’T IT’S NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE!”
“DON’T TOUCH IT IT’S STILL HOT!’
“NO IT’S NOT! IT’S ALL FAKE!’
NUNH UNH!”
“YAH HANH!”
“STOP PUSHING ME!”
Oh crap. A 32 foot drop would kill whoever fell. So I raced up to the roof grabbed the agents and returned them to Nickelodeon.
The jump drive had to download overnight and after severe disappointment the agents resigned themselves to an evening of television and fighting. Ah, the happy home.
Tomorrow they would need to retrieve the data and see where they go next.
Comments