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Paleo or Crossfit: Which to talk about first when you meet someone

Okay, it's been awhile but I wanted to update you on crossfit, and yoga. Note: Blaving means to forcefully tell the truth. Crossfit is for psychotic masochists with OCD. It is essentially a bit of stretching, a series of Olympic lifts, jr high calisthenics and trying not to puke. Resulting in: groin pulls, popped hamstrings, back sprains, wrist injuries, shoulder injuries, and soreness past your core being into your bone marrow. It is the furthest thing from fitness and seems to be made for the pain, gain and sprain crowd. After stretching, which is a loose description as the 20-something's in class are loose enough to auto-fellate themselves (we've all been there). After 5 minutes of "stretching" there is a series of Olympic style lifts: Dead lift. Which is the lift that makes people over 50 poop a little. Front Jerk Lift. Which is not the guy who wears doll clothes and sits in the lobby soaked with hideous man-sweat admiring his physiology. It is the deadl
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Great Uncle Fonzi is in the Hudson River...

...Sanitarium. He’s in the Hudson River Sanitarium It was a very hot late June Friday in upstate NY. The heat and humidity sucked the moisture from me and soaked my clothes. Every where I went I was sweating, hot, fidgety, miserable, angry, frustrated, uncomfortable, thirsty, short tempered, and typically pissed off. Cruising the byways of Fishkill NY with my brother and my SiL (sister in law) we all decided that the heat would make anyone a little nutty. It was sure working its mojo on me and the main reason I tried to not talk, answer everyone politely and not shift in my clothes too quickly (or my scrotum would rip apart and the day would be complete). It was past Africa hot. It was east coast, people dying in their house, soaked shirt, soaked shorts, shiny face, matted hair, wheezing, huffing, puffing, lip sweat, pitted out, without a doubt - hell for us out of towners. The heat was exhausting. At the end of our first day there a Friday I told myself if I can get past this heat

It's all downhill from here...

It is said that every dog has its day. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That you have to know when to hold them and know when to fold them. An apple a day. Dip it don't soak it. You're eyes will get stuck like that. Two men enter one man leaves. Would you like that super sized. Live in the moment. The journey is the reward (and they are touring again). Good men are hard to find. A bird in hand. Every rose has its thorn. Hold your horses. Take it down a notch. Pin your ears back. You can’t take it with you. Don’t pick at it. Pick your battles. Pick your poison. An ounce of prevention. This goes to eleven. Open the pod bay doors. I’ll be back. Phone home. Show me the money. Plastics. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. You can’t handle the truth. There’s no place like home. Stupid is as stupid does. Don’t stop believing. Don’t tug on Superman’s cape. Two out of three ain’t bad. Finally a broken clock is right twice a day and stop - Hammertime. It is with tremen

Why I Should Run HP

In the California Governor's race where Meg was the Republican Guard’s front runner she spent $106 of her own money per vote (just slightly over the MSRP of an HP Office Jet 6500A All-In-One printer. If she had mailed me that printer instead of the lame political ads that smacked of old school Proctor & Gamble Swiffer marketing, I might have been swayed (not really). For those if use who reside on earth that is $177,000,000 of her personal cashizzle to get run in the general election. And why? Her campaign strategist is an idiot. Carpet bombing California about Jerry Brown’s foibles was dumb. Really dumb. He’s Jerry Freakin’ Brown and we already know all that. Bad hire (campaign strategist and team). Did you know she paid over $800K to her campaign manager? That makes Newt G’s run at Tiffany’s look like a monetary hissy fit. her campaign staff strategy was the worst recognition of the political climate since the U.S. of A. armed Bin Laden to fight the Russians. A CEO has to kno

July 4th, America Fuq Yeah!

“He wrote the Statue of Liberty” Above is an an actual quote from a wife beater wearing, PBR drinking, git yer hands off my guns bumper sticker sporting, no filter Camel smoking, sitting on the sea wall with sparks in his comb over, 50 something hard guy. Tonight would be freakin’ beautiful. Of course he meant the National Anthem and his lab partners also working on their thesis in frontal lobe reduction via formaldehyde based recreational adult soda mentioned that Frances Scott Keyes, wrote the National Anthem. So it went for us on July 4th. “God Bless America!” was the follow up to the misspoken authorship of the French wench in NYC harbor. “Durka Durka Dooooo!” Came from somewhere behind me. If the Taliban could see this, the would put all their money into space research and get the hell off earth. These men cannot be reasoned with, they do not eat, do not sleep, and use the cardboard insert from the three pack of white wife-beaters they bought at Target as a dust pan to get the flo

Healing After Surgery - The Neo Age Way

On January 22nd of the year of the hare I wiped out on my road bike and managed to implement a Class III separation of my Acromioclavicular Joint (AC Joint). For us lay persons that is a joint in your shoulder. On February 2 (also year of the hare) I had the joint surgically repaired and have been recovering ever since, and let me tell you it hurts. One part of the healing process is the unsolicited advice on healing from all persons who you may call friends or at least call acquaintances. Thought I would share some of the suggestions I get from my unpaid group of advisors on healing my shoulder: I call them my ill-advisors, that is people who tell me they know someone who had something similar to what I am going through and they have the best 'cure.' Here are the best so far: Vitamin D3 - or calciol which is a form of Vitamin D structurally similar to steroids and has all kinds of good benefits for healing, except it's poisonous in large doses. Acupuncture - c'mon you

Collection Agencies and the 7 Stages of Grief

In August of 2010 my Mum suffered a hemorrhagic stroke of her left frontal lobe. For us lay-people this when blood bleeds into the brain and reeks all kinds of havoc up to killing the person. The pressure on the brain and the toxicity of the blood are not good. This type of stroke is typically caused by high blood pressure which me Mum has. In order to prevent death timeliness of care is paramount. My Mum was at the a hair salon so you know the personnel were ready to respond in a professional manner. I will skip the details but her stroke involved paramedics, a helicopter flight to a neurological specialist center (about $13,000) and the miracle drug tPA. tPa or Tissue Plasminogen Activator is a medication which is used to break up blood clots during an acute (read:bad) stroke. It saved Mum’s life. I told that story to tell you this one. For some reason my Mum on a small fixed income was extended credit by two Bank, Wells Fargo (@ 29.99% interest) and GE Money Bank (@ 24.99% interest)