With a Vengeance
Yeah I know. No real reason why I have not posted other than I figured out Twitter is for 18 - 45 year old males who are trying to keep their roll going. I have a lot of half baked material and by consensus I was asked to detail my bright idea of engaging my two nephews as secret agents. It was simple idea that grew complex.
Since I am not parent I have the advantage of acting like one when the mood strikes. So I can then have a good, great, or not good experience and universally apply this the term of parenthood. I have been told by my friends who are parents that this gives the impression I talk out of my ass. They’re right.
Previously I have mentioned my two nephews. Currently they are both on suspension from their covert operations career. Suspension runs out on October 31, 2009. They are 12 and 10 years old.
The idea was simple. Create a well executed covert operation (secret mission – more on secrecy later) for my nephews when they were in town to try to teach them a few life lessons and occupy them for a few hours each day. As a former (and at moments I am a still a) kid I thought a secret mission would not only be cool it would help these two guys use their brains for something other than ways to torment each other.
As I thought about this it made more and more sense. It essentially meant I had to plan a very structured set of activities, with instructions, with defined outcomes, all while trying to get these two guys focused on playing roles other than constantly trying to kill the other one, or raising their voice to be heard, or sitting through a time out (which is crap BTW IMO).. So step one was to set the covert operative guidelines. This is the code they live by and when they eff-up (which they will) I as the Supreme Commander use these to mete out discipline and to reward them. Also helps me to keep them on track for the long haul. Here they are:
1. Obey orders
2. Support your team members
3. Absolutely no blaming each other, whining or complaining
4. As a operative you are a gentlemen first, set an example
5. Never use your training or tool s for anything other than missions
I had to go with five. Originally I had three but they sounded like the “Three Tenants of Lameness. “ So I created these to focus on their ability to take instructions and complete a complicated task. Second was to get them to work together even when one would get more credit than the other at times without all the drama. Third was to get them to act more grown up and let them know when they are working for me I expect them to be professional and not make poop and wiener jokes. Last was the learning experience of taking care of your stuff and not losing it or, worse misusing it. How hard could this be?
The organization consists of me and them. A flat organization as my MBA friends say: excellent for rapid decision making and streamlined command and control. These are my friends.
At the head of our covert operations organization I occupy the spot of Supreme Commander and my two nephews are field operatives. Now when you read through this keep in mind the kids are 12 and 10 years old, take meds to focus only during the school year and are brothers. I am an older brother so I get it. For two weeks one summer I coached a couple of teams of 8 and nine year olds. So while I am not Dr. Phil Jr. (guy’s a douche any-hoo) I do know what a couple of brother’s like to do and that is – a secret mission. Yes a real secret mission, with cool spy tools, field contacts, mission instructions, travel, training and hot chicks. This will be a multiple part post so first things first.
For any secret mission to occupy the brains of two ADD kids you have to make sure information comes in bursts and does not require too much thought. So for the holiday season in 2008 I created two covert operative field kits consisting of: small LED flashlight with a laser pointer, 20 feet of parachute cord, a round metal Swiss army soap holder (doubles as a secure holder for mission information), paper, pen, compass, gloves, glow sticks, a whistle and some other crap. All from the local Army Surplus store. Total cost of the kit was about $40 each. I tried to keep in mind that anything flammable or that could be used to cut something (like your brother) was off limits. Even the laser pointer was iffy but I gave strict instructions to each agent that misuse would mean confiscation with no whining. If it is misused you lose it.
For the actual kit I used some old marketing promo gear which was a miniature locking metal case (like a small steel briefcase). When the time was right during their holiday break I presented the kits which consisted of me constantly smacking their mitts as they tried to open and use everything right away. One of the areas I emphasized throughout is to work on their patience and to do as you are told even if your underdeveloped brain goes right to see it, try it, and misplace it.
The first mission letter went out in January and was a filed operation to lace an ancient medallion on a plot of land we own to seal a rift in the spirit world. Mi espousa painted a flat rock with a Tulalip spirit symbol and we mailed it to them. Little boys love getting packages so this went over big. Basically lock the spirits back to their side of the life and after life dimension. This actually went off fairly well. I provided a surveyor’s map of the property with clear instructions on where to place it, how to measure it correctly and the time of day to do it (dusk, not dark). Upon completion they were to text message me with a code to let me know it was completed, Kudos to the step Dad for getting them rounded up and the mission completed.
Mission number two was more complicated and much more entertaining.
Comments